The wicked lead singer of AntiProduct, A. Product!

Email Interview July 9, 2006

Mr. Product found me via a mutual friend (that shall remain nameless for his protection!) and I found him very compelling to say the very least. When I first looked a picture of him while talking to him on the phone I thought "Holy Shit!" not really knowing what to expect! If I hadn't spoken to him on the phone first I may have even been a little bit afraid! He is very soft spoken and intelligent, yet take a look at his onstage persona and you see the wicked side! So as always, don't judge a book by it's cover, or DO judge a book by it's cover if your cover looks like this...

jo: For people that may not be familiar with your music, how would you describe AntiProduct?

A: We are the shit of Rock 'n' Roll.  A great big steaming anal excretion of all the best things in music from Slayer to Abba inclusive of the Ramones all chewed up and shat out as one nice big beautiful easy to digest steaming piece of ass sculpture called AntiProduct.

jo: How long has the band been together and how has it changed over time?

A: We have been together since the beginning of time and will last beyond time eternal.  we change only as the stars do.

jo: Who is currently with AntiProduct? Tell us about each person a little bit and what they bring to the group.

A: What?!?!  The rest of them?!?!?  "The Help?"  How dare you insult thusly?  A pox on you.

Let's see:

There's darling sweet Milena Yum (named after the year she was born) , who is like the "nice one."  She's from Argentina.  We rescued her.  She plays
keyboards, guitar, saxophone, drums, sings, writes and has a degree in music from Berkley.

Then there's giant purple Clare, who is the Queen of All She Surveys.  She's the not so nice one.  She's six three, breaths fire, is Johnny Ramone's favorite guitar player and in addition to rocking harder than any woman ever (her alleged decadency from Royal lineage being dubious) is a classically rained violin player, who soloed at Albert Hall when she was 9, 16 years
ago.

Then there's our bass player, the newly anointed Valkyria Product (ula?).  She's the really not nice one and is referred to in hushed voices as The Goddess of Thunder.  She's from Mexico and is a beautiful Vampire.  That's how we found her on My Space ("The Clearing House For Reality" Copyright 2006 My Space Enterprises).  We hung out for a week in LA playing and drinking and screwing and everyone liked everybody's everything and now we need Human Blood on the Rider.

Already in-Famous, gorgeous celebrity to the stars, Ben Graves, rounds out the fearsome line-up.  No longer dead (reborn from being undead?). this foxy
minx looks equally at home completely destroying the furniture in upscale hotel rooms as sashaying down the catwalk next to Kate and Naomi.  He doesn't play drums, he lives the drums.

Aside from all that though they grind me down.

jo: You've been quite successful in the UK. What are your US plans now that you have come over?

A: To be quite successful where it really counts, in the US of A.  And ALL politics aside and with all due respect to England (our birth country) all all the countries we have been to on tour, USA kicks ass.  There's plenty to hate concerning the infrastructure but person for person the people I meet who live in the USA are an awesome breed.  Just little shit that validates the next guy like holding the door and not cutting 'em off in traffic or pushing the strangers car that broke down.  That's seriously awesome little shit and maybe if it does end up the little shit is what matters, we're fuckin' dealed.

jo: What made you decide to become a musician and how old were you? Were your parents supportive?

A: I blame Kiss.  I wonder if I could sue Gene Simmons for ruining my life?  Let's copyright Gene's name and see what happens.

jo:  I heard a "rumor" about one of your songs being picked up for a movie. Can you confirm that and tell us more?

A: Yea, not to sound like too much of a whore over here, we are completely and totally independently owned and operated and to tour and record and all that
shit, it adds up.  Also, we right good fuckin' songs, sometimes that aren't about what the inside of a camel's stomach looks like or how bungee jumping is a sport worth betting on.  See, we love our music so much we know we can utterly cheapen and degrade it by doing heinous public nonsense (band name/msi tribute?  btw, only msi even comes close!  those guys and gorillas are it, kids!) as a statement about our surface over substance society and only the bullshit resonates culture.  you know what I mean.

Anyway, I wrote a pop song called "Best Day of Your Life" about producing some guitar tracks with my childhood hero Rick Neilsen of the ever-brilliant Cheap Trick on an album I helped write a few years ago.  Took me less time to write than it does to listen to.  Proving the power of music to outlast the space in time it was written in, this song about every once in a while a dream will come true and a miracle may happen, get's picked up by Miramax for an awesome movie called "Keeping Up With The Steins."  It's already been out in the States but I think it's about to be released in the UK soon.  There's a soundtrack coming out on Walt Disney Records that's got us and REM and like 10 others on there.

Good shit and makes me very happy when that happens.

jo: How did you come up with the name of the band and what does it mean to you?

A: We stole it off a door-to-door toilet seat salesman in Surrey, England.

jo: What impact do you want your music to have on your fans?

A: It turns 'em into retards and that in turn makes us more stupid and so on until we are all a big mongoloid soup of human flesh rock soup.

jo: When do you find you are most creative with your song writing?

A: after 2 am and alone

jo: What is your best quality? Worst habit?

A: My ego and believing it.

jo: How would you describe your stage show?

A: Too much of everything always with beautiful girls and boys plus an idiot screaming at you while trying to kill himself the hard way.

jo: Give me one word to describe each person in the band.

A: opaque

jo: If you were a cartoon character who would you be?

A: Johnny Thunders

jo: What is the biggest misconception about you?

A: That I'm able to sleep

jo: What bands are you currently listening to?

A: msi, New York Dolls, AntiProduct, OKgo, Mastadon, Ramones

jo: If I told you to set up the ultimate tour, money was no object, what bands would you choose?

A: Abba, Kiss, Alice Cooper, Cheap Trick, Jane's Addiction, Slayer, MSI, AP.  Let them open for Slayer.  Fuck 'em.

jo: Do you have a hero?

A: My alter-ego.

jo: What is your deepest desire? Darkest fear?

A: That no one ever asks me what my deepest desire and darkest fear are.

jo: What three things must you do before you die??

A:
1.  Give Bill Gates the $5 he loaned me back.
2.  Be able to kill one person and have a free pass.
3.  Meet someone who looks like their My Space picture.

jo: Do you believe in...

Destiny: Doubtful but probable
Love at First Sight:  Yes but I'm usually wrong
Angels: The baseball team?
Aliens: Yea but I like Zombies more
Soul Mates: Yes
Things Happen for a Reason: Tell it to New Orleans
Heaven and Hell: Sorta
Ghosts: Sure

jo: Message for your fans??

A: Look out.  Here it comes...

A. Product Stats!!
DOB: yep
Height: not sure
Shoe Size: what ees theeese theeng, shoe?
Fave Food: chocolate
Fave Color: UV
Fave Scent: money
Fave Movie: Cannibal Holocaust, sometimes
Fave Place in the World: recording studio
Fave Star Wars Character: the cgis
Fave Drink: red wine
Fave Movie Villain: me
Fave Song: Fuck You Don't Mean Shit To Me, new AP track
Fave Band: AntiProduct
Fave Indulgence: Mindless Self
 

Thanks again to A. Product for taking the time to complete the interview. I will be bringing you much more of this band in the very near future, but in the meantime be sure to check out their official MySpace and the official AntiProduct site today!